hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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