Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
