We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
