I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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