And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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