I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
