And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
