Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
