ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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