The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
