Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
