I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
