she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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