Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize