I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
