If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
