hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
