Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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