Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
