Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
