no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
