How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
