I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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