you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We left the knife in your bed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
