I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
