'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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