btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
