I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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