Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Green mimosas i think yes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
