This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
