My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
