Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
