His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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