Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
