he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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