yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
