is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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