I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
