so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
