i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Mom said you looked used
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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