Nicole vs. Life
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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