So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
from now on my penis is your penis
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
