Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
