Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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