Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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