why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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