Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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