Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
