So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
