She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i love accidental penises.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
