So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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