Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize