what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
