It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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