I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jerry, you need to find god
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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