This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize