i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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