i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
