no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
