3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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