I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
