i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
