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Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
