She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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