got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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