I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
