Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I got inside last night via doggy door
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
