I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
