It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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