Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize