There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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