she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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