Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
