Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
