I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
