I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
