And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
